The only ones left alive
by sansa-sandor-shipper
Summary: A group of boys and one girl are stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere with no hope of rescue and no hope of home. Mature warning for smut for ships Roger/Simon and Jack/OC and Ralph/Jack please listen to my 8tracks playlist: /rogermon/forgivness
1. Only two days

Her arm hurt, she knew her arm was hurting and, it seemed to be the only thing she knew. Stripping off her hat, blazer, tie, high socks she picked up a sharp stone and made a cut in her knee length skirt. Ripping around her skirt, she made it shorter and easier to move in. But kept the extra material tucked in her waistband which she pulled tighter. As the brown haired girl walked among the trees she saw one with a good grip and climbed it.

Perching herself on the top branch she cradled her arm and rubbed her shoulder, as I said, it hurt like a bitch. As the dark-haired girl sat atop the tree she looked down to her arm and it had two hairbands on it. Reaching her arms back and wincing a bit, she put two French plaits into her hair and tied them at the end. Looking around she couldn't see anyone but hoped for survivors. She couldn't even see the plane anymore. It was off in the trees somewhere. Then suddenly there was a loud sound like a trumpet. It blasted out from the beach somewhere, the beach was a little in the distance but the dark haired girl quickly jumped out of the tree and ran toward the sound.

She ran in and out of the tree and through the grassy patches until she reached the beach where she saw, to her amazement, a large group of boys from all ages. Raising one eyebrow she sighed and walked toward the boys confidently. She saw a ginger boy eyeing her creepily, a larger boy who looked very nervous, a fair-haired boy with a shell in his hands and a band of other boys. But some group all had choir robes and hats on which made her want to laugh. With sympathy at heart, she sat next to the nervous boy and smiled at him. It was only when she looked up from ripping off a few strands of her skirt and un-unbuttoning her first two buttons that she realised they were all staring at her.

"What do you want?" She asked, sounding annoyed, tired and sarcastic. The boys all diverted their gaze and some laughed or blushed in embarrassment. The boy with the shell was standing in the middle of the circle and seemed to uphold some authority.

"Well. We should elect a leader, a chief." The girl groaned in boredom and rested her head on her hands, closing her eyes.

"A chief! Yes, a chief!" Apart from sounding like a bunch of maniacs. These boys were much like the girl's brothers at home, stupid, annoying, bastards and loveable. She was sure at some point she would develop feelings for the boys that reflected siblings.

"Yes, but before that we need names." The shy boy said in a squeaky voice.

"Shut up fatty!" The ginger boy retorted. The girl but didn't say anything, but the girls' shoulder was still hurting and she gripped it as it throbbed slightly.

"Does your shoulder hurt?" A littleum asked.

"I can put it back into place if you'll let me?" the ginger boy offered. The girl nodded and turned around so her bad shoulder was facing him. He knelt next to her and looked up at her.

"This is going to really hurt once I've done it." He told her.

"If you break my arm I will break your face with my other fist." She was deadly serious but he took hold of her shoulder and her back and quickly paused very hard till there was a cracking of bone.

"Jesus!" The girl yelled. The boys sniggered and the ginger boy went back to his seat.

"We don't know her name, and she doesn't know ours." The ginger boy added smiling suspiciously.

"Fine. I'm Louise." The boys sniggered.

"Well, I'm Ralph. That's Jack Merridew, Eric, Sam, Roger, Bill, Maurice, The Littleums, Simon, Robert and that's... Piggy!" This made the boys roll around laughing and sniggering as the shy boy stayed still, looking embarrassed. Louise would have defended him but she didn't really want to.

"Anyway, how old are you?" Jack asked Louise.

"I'm 18." Blinking a little she felt an eyelash in her eye but tried to forget about it.

"I'm 19," Jack said, sounding impressed. Next, she turned to the boy with the shell.

"I'm 19 as well." Nodding Louise looked back at Jack and he seemed to be glaring at Ralph so she laughed quietly under her breath. The other boys talked among themselves before the boy with the shell spoke again.

"Who votes Jack chief?" He asked. The choir boys raised their hands and Jack glared at the other boys which made Louise smile.

"Okay, and who votes for me?" The rest of the boys raised their hands and cheered. "Ralph for chief." She sat still as the boy, Ralph took his position in the middle of the circle. All of the choir boys now had taken off their robes and hats and were unbuttoning their shirts when they looked back at Louise who was looking at the sand. So they shrugged and let them hang off their shoulders unbuttoned.

"Hey, Ralph, why don't we explore the island. See what's here?" The boy with the conch nodded, then looked at Louise.

"Want to come with us. You'll just get bored here." She wasn't sure that was entirely why he was asking her, but she would do anything to not be bored right now and this was her solution. Standing up she followed on from Jack and Ralph.

"Why are you so angry?" Jack asked her.

"Well. All my friends are dead, my mother and sister could be dead, my dad and my 3 brothers are dead and I am pretty sure I'm the outcast in my current situation. I see no reason there not to get angry at everything." The other two boys were silent.

"Why don't you just... start a new? Try to forget about that and they help us build something here. We've only just got here, we were on the same plane. So we're all in a pretty shit position." Ralph told her. Louise rolled her eyes but shit up.

"Should we go through the forest?" Jack asked, changing the subject.

"I was there earlier in the trees, but that was back that way." Louise gestured to the other end of the beach.

"Well, why don't we go in any way?" The ginger boy started walking into the thicket, the other two followed him. There were tons of vines falling from trees with huge trunks and spiders branches that created a thick light green ceiling of leaves and vines.

"I wish this island could be just as it seems. But there's probably something around the corner to fuck it up." Jack mused, looking at Louise. They walked in silence till they reached a grassy clearing. The ground had fresh grass on it and looked soft. Sitting on it, Louise lay down, looking up at the clearing in the trees. Then, to the two boys looking down at her, they looked from her to each other and back to her then shrugged. Laying down, one either side of Louise, they looked up at the blue sky in silent appreciation.

Louise couldn't say how long they stayed there, but it was getting dark when she woke on her side with Jack's arm around her waist and her chest pressed against Ralph's back. It was kinda weird so she stood up quickly and then Jack's hand fell over Ralph's waist and Louise let out a laugh. The two boys woke slowly in unison.

"Aw, you two are picture perfect. I wish I could capture this." The two boys soon realised what was happening and stood up, blushing. They just followed a laughing Louise out of the forest. As they approached the camp, there was a fire and Piggy seemed more upset than usual.

"You got a fire going!" Jack yelled happily. Maurice and Roger nodded, Ralph sat on a rock near the fire and so did Jack but Louise walked past the camp and sat on the sand a good way away from the camp.

"Don't we need things such as shelters, and food?" She heard piggy suggest as Ralph sat down. Jack didn't add to the conversation, she actually didn't hear his voice once. Then Jack was sitting next to her, not to close. They were both staring at the sunset in awe. It was beautiful and she hoped it would always be. Although Louise wanted to savour this moment of the sunset, she had never seen a sunset like it, in England.

"How are you?" Jack asked her. Louise lay back in the sand and Jack looked down at her before laying next to her.

"I'm as happy as I could be. What about you? How is his grace today?" He smirked at her humour but then looked at Louise. She quickly realised he was looking at her and turned her own head.

"Alright, I suppose." Louise closed her eyes and scrunched some sand between her fingers, it felt nice on her skin and sitting up she unlaced her shoes and put them next to her legs. Lying back down she faced Jack, he seemed to have gone to sleep but she didn't seem to mind. She had tried hard to not before, but now she looked at Jack and stood up. Brushing herself down, Louise walked down to where the water would lap at her feet and sit down. Playing with the wet sand, she built it up into a large mound, hours must have passed as she made a long wall in front of her. Reaching into the pocket of her skirt, she pulled out a flask. It was full of whisky and she took a swig, the liquid burned her throat but made her feel good, then she was only bothered by a hand on her shoulder. Turning around, it was Jack smiling down at her. She covered the flask with her hand then shoved it in her pocket.

"Come on. It's getting darker." He put a handout and Louise took it. Rubbing the sand off her hands she picked up her shoes and followed Jack up to the camp,

"So, what's the flask?" He asked. Louise groaned and stopped walking up the beach.

"You can't tell anyone okay. It's the last of a little whisky and I'm only giving it to people who aren't arseholes." Jack laughed and looked down at her skirt then back to her face.

"Give me some, and I will shut up." Huffing, Louise reached down her skirt and pulled out the flask, Jack raised his eyebrow but still took the flask. He took a bigger swig than Louise had, but her brothers always drank more than she did as well.

"Heavy drinker? Never would have thought such a daddy's boy would be." Snatching back the flask Louise shoved it in the pocket and Jack stared at her.

"What?"

"Your a daddy's boy, it's clear as day. You think your owed everything and think you can take charge, I'de say you were at a private school or a boarding school. And there's no way you weren't rich when you were back in England, maybe your father was a lord or the head of an estate. But you're not too horrible. You seem to have a good will I think, but then you could also be doing everything for yourself but I don't suppose so." Jack had his hands on his hips glaring at her.

"You finished?" He sounded annoyed.

"I'm just making preconceptions which, I'm sure you did when you saw me." Louise walked past Jack and he just followed behind her. He didn't say anything as they approached the camp. That night was uneventful, the boys talked amongst themselves and Louise went to sleep before any of them. She was sure that at some point, someone settled by her but she was too tired to open her eyes. She just felt the fires blaze.

As she woke up the sun was still rising and she sat up and walked toward the sea, she needed a good wash before the others were up. So she stripped. Out of her shirt and walked in the water.

Louise's life before the island had been fun, she attended a military school for girls, with her brothers' military school just a mile from hers. Even though it was a boarding school it wasn't too bad, she got on well enough with most of the girls but just wanted to focus she was there for. It had been the only military school for girls ever and the government seemed to want to keep it that way, even though Louise and most of her classmates had taken on and beaten their fellow boys. Louise had been in her last year but it was then that the stupid Germans chose to declare war, and shews being sent to America. She still didn't know why that was happening.

"You've stripped a bit, haven't you," Jack smirked, he seemed to always be following her and it was annoying. The water was up to the elastic on Louise's bra when she turned around to face him, shaking her head.

"Do you have to be insufferable and creepy?" You asked and he laughed.

"What school were you at before all this?" Jack asked, but she didn't answer him. Taking out her French plaits she put the hairbands back on her wrist and sank her head into the water and began to scrub her hair, in an attempt to keep it relatively clean. Coming back up, out of the water.

She threw some water at Jack and it looked normal enough, he hit some back and then the older boys joined in. Except for Piggy.

Louise got out of the water, leaving Jack to throw water at the others as she sat next to Piggy and Simon. She almost took pity on them as she sat in between them.

"How come you two don't swim?" She asked as she smiled at Jack.

"Because of my ass-mar." Louise took a double take and looked at Piggy, so did Simon.

"Your ass-mar?" The other two said in unison.

"Yeah, the thing that makes me breathe real weird." They held in a laugh as Piggy sounded serious, but Louise's lip quivered as she tried to not laugh at the poor boys face.

"Sucks to your ass-mar. That's not a reason to not go into the water, I knew plenty of girls who had ass-mar and still did swimming."

"Well. It's not just that. I don't want to... take my clothes off, ever." Piggy answered awkwardly.

"What about you Simon?"

"Just don't really feel like it." His short answer ended the conversation abruptly, but Louise didn't mind the silence, it was calming in some respects.


	2. Brother, Sister

There was only Ralph, Maurice, Simon, Piggy and the twins at camp from the Bigums and all the Littleums were running about on the sand. Louise walked straight past the boys in just her skirt and bra, holding her shirt and shoes.

Not noticing how they were all staring, she walked into the forest, a fair bit from the beach so they wouldn't see her. Squatting down she pulled her pants to the side and peed, the only sound she could hear was the occasional bug or a boy shouting or the pee on the forest floor.

Walking back to the camp Louise sat on a rock and lay her shirt and shoes on the sand and plaited her hair on one side of her shoulders. Her hair was too long for this heat and she just wanted to cut it. She remembered Jack had a knife.

"Jack." She called over to him as he prepared to go find his hunters. He came over and stood above her.

"Give me your knife." Her tone was pretty relaxed but she was kind of demanding.

"Say the magic word." Raising an eyebrow she rolled her eyes and complied.

"Please, may I have the bloody knife?" He handed it to her and she began to slice through her hair so it would fall about three inches below her shoulders. As the hair came off in her hands she held it by the top and gave Jack back the knife. Louise tossed the plait into the fire. Jack turned around and headed into the forest with a spear.

He had been gone for a while when the other boys started on the huts. Louise looked up at them and stood, as she walked over to Ralph he wiped his brow and looked up at her.

"What can I do? I feel useless sitting over there." She wined.

"Because you are useless," Maurice muttered. Louise turned to him and smiled sarcastically.

"Well, at least I can protect myself, Maurice. Your as close to being able to do that as Germany winning the war. So shut your face." He seemed about to protest but shut up anyway.

"Right, Roger can get some more wood with Simon I suppose. Simon?" He nodded and the stare between Simon and Roger lasted a little longer than usual. Before Simon turned toward the forest, with a slightly red face, the others boys hadn't noticed but Louise had and she was sure she knew why.

Roger had hoped that Louise didn't take much notice over the way he looked at Simon. It had just been one kiss the night before, but Roger felt dirty for liking a boy so he slept nearer Louise but, it just made him want Simon more and more. Today he didn't want to hold it back, he wanted to tell him and he wanted to be able to be open with it. Not have it be a crime. But even at home, if they ever got home, it would be illegal for them to be together so why was he so intent on kissing him again.

All the feelings in his head confused him and he didn't want to build shelters. He wanted to take Simon in his arms and run his hands through his dark hair and smell his scent. He didn't want to have resentment or worry as he kissed him. Why was that so impossible? When it was dark today, he and Simon would take watch. Then they could talk.

As Jack ran through the undergrowth he was sure he heard a shout that sounded like Robert. Running in that direction he soon found the boys. It was just William, Bill and Robert. But they didn't seem to be having any luck, plus they had no knives.

"You don't seem to be having any luck. Found any tracks?" Robert nodded and pointed to in front of Jack.

"We've been following these ones that we think might be a male, but it could also be an adult sow." Jack crouched down to them and pulled back some leaves, he leads the hunt and walked to the side of the tracks, around trees and small little bushes of candle buds.

"Shsh." He told the hunters as he crouched and they followed his lead. Jack turned and signalled there was a pig up ahead.

"We need to circle it, spread out, crawl under the bushes to get to a good position." His voice was deathly quiet but they all nodded and crawled around to certain parts of the bushes around the eating boar. Jack looked at the three and nodded his head holding up both hands he counted down to one before they all quickly ran into the middle and surrounded the pig. It was frantic but Bill got a hold of its tusks. Robert held down its hind and William sat on top of it while Jack drew his knife and plunged it deep into the animal's neck and ran it along its throat till it stopped moving and went limp. They all yelled in triumph and Jack high fived William

"Now boys. We become more than what a blood brother can be because we, have made a kill and we, are going to take this back to camp and be hailed at saviours we, must become at one with the kill." Jack dropped his fingers into the gaping slit the knife had left of the boar's neck, dipping his fingers in the blood he coated his face with it and turned to the others. He was excited and happy and the others quickly complied then they stood in a circle.

"We should dance, like a tribe. Tribes would dance after a kill, and we're a tribe now. The hunters." They all nodded and looked to Jack for leadership.

"Kill the pig, slit her throat, spill her blood." Jack started, then the other three gradually joined in, smiling wildly.

"KILL THE PIG, SLIT HER THROAT, SPILL HER BLOOD!" The repeated in unison over and over. They were a union, a band of blood brothers, and they were the hunters.

Louise wasn't sure what she was hearing when the boys returned, something about killing a pig, but she didn't care, they had brought back meat and she wanted some so badly. They had finished the shelters a while ago and the fire had kept ablaze, but the faces of Louise and the other boys lit up when the pig on those two sticks turned up at the head of four dancing boys.

"You caught a pig!" She exclaimed. Jack smirked at her.

Jack began to carve out pieces of the pig and sometimes blood would soak his hands and spray up at him, but he didn't seem to care as he tossed to chunks onto the fire. After about an hour there was a prominent smell of bacon in the air, well that was all they could compare it too. Not all the pieces were cooked, but they didn't care. Snatching at the meat and gnawing at it like wolves on their kill. Louise sat next to Simon and picked up a big piece, all the boys seemed to have taken smaller bits but she wanted food and she never had a small meal.

Finishing before the others, she groaned and threw the skin back into the fire. Her stomach felt like she was pregnant and it was so heavy. Walking over to the wet sand she lay down and looked up to the sky, she really wanted it to rain. It was slowly getting darker but the humidity made it impossible to relax fully.

Covering her face with her hands she breathed in and out slowly wishing for... Louise wasn't sure what she wished for, maybe home, no she didn't want to go back home, she did want to go back to the academy, or was it just safety. Perhaps Louise just wanted someone to hold her, she wanted someone to hold her if she ever cried.

She didn't cry, but occasionally she would have a breakdown and not be able to hold the emotions. You were taught to shut up, stand up straight, listen, do accordingly and never ever cry. Academy life wasn't easy and it was hardly what you expected girls to be like, but men yelling at you and hitting you wasn't too unheard of. Taking her hands from her face, she propped herself up on her elbows and watched the sea flow in and out.

"What do you suppose she's thinking about?" Ralph wondered aloud. The boys looked at him and he shrugged.

"I don't fucking know do I," Jack muttered as he sharpened his spear and nibbled on a piece of the boar. The day's hunt had been a success, but Jack and his hunters needed to deliver every day so there was no room for error. He had to be the one they relied on, not anyone else, he needed to have the power and the responsibility of the camp.

As night drew in, the Littleums slowly crawled into the shelters and took up two. One filled with boys who slept like logs, and the other who cried for hours and hours. The older ones would groan, but Louise was staying up, she sat at the opening of one of the shelters as the moon shone a light on the beach. Jack, Roger, Maurice and Bill were sharing the shelter she was sitting in and they were complaining about the Littleums so Louise stood up and walked into the shelter of crying, little boys.

She sat in front of them and could barely see them.

"How many of you are there?" She asked in the loudest voice she could muster. A little boy shuffled forward and he seemed to be about 3 from what she could see from the moon.

"Four, Miss. I'm P-Percival Wemys- Wemys Mad-Madison, of the Vicarage, Harcourt St. Anthony." Louise put an arm around the boy and beckoned the other snivelling boys near her.

"What did your mother's do to make you go to sleep when you were home?" Her tone was soft and forgiving as the boys leant on her and some took hold of her hands.

"Sing to us." One of them said out of the darkness. Louise used to sing in the choir and take part in the music concerts with solos. But she wasn't eager to do it, it was just for an extra few grades really. But thinking of home, she remembered a song she loved when she was at home and began to sing.

"There'll be bluebirds over, the white cliffs of Dover. Tomorrow, just you wait and see. They'll be love and laughter and peace ever after, tomorrow when the world is free." Pausing, Louise closed her eyes and breathed out slowly, trying to remember the words. She blinked a few times for fear of the tears that would fall.

"The shepherd will tend his sheep, the valley will bloom again and Jimmy will go to sleep. In his own little room again. There'll be bluebirds over, the white cliffs of Dover, tomorrow, just you wait and see. Just you wait and see when the world is free. Just you wait and see when the world is free when the world is free. Come on and wait and see, when the world is free. You got to wait and see." On the last note, she made it last a little longer before slowly slipping out of the shelter and walking away from it, letting the sand sink into her feet.

Running her fingers through her hair she held it at ponytail height and then let it drop as she hugged herself. She didn't want to be here, she didn't care about anyone here. Louise turned around to walk back to the shelters and Jack was staring at her, silently she jumped out of her skin but didn't show it.

"You, you sing?" He asked softly.

"Yeah, I guess." She wiped her eyes and breathed out slowly again.

"You're good, I liked that song when I was at home. I used to go to Dover as a child and... I suppose it takes me back."

"No, I'm fine. I just miss everything normal. All of this," She gestured around her "All of this is so foreign and strange to me."

"Come on. It's an island all to ourselves. Look, I've lost people because of the war as well, sure I miss them. But I don't let it beat me down. We are independent for the first time. Away from parents and teachers and rules. We can do whatever the hell we want to do." He had a point and Louise knew in some ways he was right.

"Thanks, Jack." She said, surprised at herself.

The next morning Roger and Simon had told the others they were going to find some more fruit in the jungle. But they just wanted to be alone. As soon as the camp was out of sight Roger took Simon's hand and clutched it tightly, they didn't even talk just went to find a private place. Going up a little hill, they saw a cave. It was small and wouldn't echo, that was all they wanted. Looking around before they ran to it, Roger pulled Simon to the cave and ran to the back of it.

Simon turned to Roger and smiled slightly. He put a hand on Roger's face and one of Roger's hands found its way onto Simon's bareback. When their lips touched it was almost a relief and the two just wanted it to last forever. Their touches were gentle and nervous. They were both inexperienced which made it a little better.

"I don't want to leave this cave," Simon whispered as his forehead leant against Roger's. Pushing him back, Simon pressed Roger to the back of the cave and wrapped his arms around his neck.

It was only a case of time until they were hurriedly kissing each other with a need that neither of the boys wanted to be true because it felt wrong. It felt wrong to be who they were, they were ashamed to be what they were doing but they cared for each other like they never would anyone else. No one else understood and they couldn't tell anyone either. After a few minutes, they stopped and watchdog could feel how the others member was pressing against their legs and the pulled closer together. Wrapping their arms around each other's backs and necks they tried to console what shouldn't need consoling.

"Why does this feel so wrong?" Simon asked quietly.

"Because we both know it is. But I never want to stop, do you?" Roger clutched Simon closer to him and leant his head on his shoulder.

"Never, I never want to leave if I can't have this at home, I know God will be disappointed in me. My father's a vicar and he would hate me if I ever told him about... this. So I never want to go home." Simon began to cry silently and the tears rolled down Roger's back, he put a hand on Simon's head and stroked his hair.

"I don't want to go back, but they'll get suspicious," Roger said in a husky voice. Simon a ran a hand down Roger's chest and he closed his eyes as he brushed over his ripped trousers.

"We can't and you know it." Simon looked distraught and Roger tried to be okay with it. But he knew he never would be.

"Jack said he was going hunting," Louise told Piggy as she returned to camp. Tying her hair up in ponytail looked at her armpits and her legs that were beginning to get a little hairy. She'd just ask Jack for his knife when he got back.

"Where are you from, Louise?" Piggy asked her. "I mean you have an English accent, but your not. you know."

"I'm not white, yes I know. It's okay, you can say it. I was born in the Caribbean. My mother is from the Caribbean and my father is-was from England, my siblings look the same as me, except one of my brothers was a little darker than me." Looking down at the sand and poking at it with her fingers she knew this was what Trinidad would be like. Her mother had told her about Chaguaramas, where she grew up and then how she and her family were pushed out by the Americans to make way for a naval base.

But that was when Louise's mother met her father. They had her three brothers, Machel, Dewain and Jaden then Louise all one year apart, in Trinidad. When Louise was 6 in 1927, she and her family moved to England and she joined a private primary school, that she left when she was 11. Then she joined the military academy for girls at 13. Her three brothers and her father were all called up to fight for England.

Within two months, Machel was kidnapped and put in a POW camp, predicted dead but unconfirmed. Her father only lasted 8 months, bringing the month around to May in 1940. That was when Louise was in her last year of the academy, and when she was going to get flown out to America to help the war in the US. Now here she was, missing all her family more an ever.

"Louise. Your crying." She heard Piggy's shrill voice out of her daydreaming and she realised she was. Wiping her face she shook her head and looked down. Simon and Ralph each took a different log to sit on and there was a silence between the four only filled with the screaming Littleums.

"Where were you before all this Louise?" Simon asked. He was sitting next to her, and the other two boys looked intently at her.

"Look. I'm only telling if I can trust you three and if you won't tell anyone. Ever. Also that you won't discuss it." They nodded and Louise told them all her story up until now.

"So, you were at a military academy, like us?" Ralph asked

"Yes. All the girls there were stuck up. They all got in from paying for it, I always got made fun of for being the poor kid." You looked at the boys and they nodded.

"Who's on fire duty on the mountain?" Piggy asked.

"The twins, Samaneric." Ralph looked up at the mountain and sat still, his jaw dropped.

"But the fire it's gone out its-"

"A SHIP. LOOK RALPH A SHIP A SHIP!" One of the Littleums called. The four bigums stood bolt upright and looked to the horizon, there was a ship! Their rescue! Looking up at the mountain Louise's smile dropped.

"Where's the... Where's the fire?" But Ralph was already running and then Simon and then Louise. They ran as fast as they could. Not caring about the branches that cut their skin and left marks on their skin. It took maybe 3 minutes for Louise, Simon and Ralph to get to the top. They sprinted as if their lives depended on it, but the fire was just burnt embers.

Piggy was still walking up the hill and Ralph had a choice. If he ran to Piggy and got his glasses, he might be too late, but if he left it too late he would see Piggy clambering up the hill at 1mph as the ship rolled away over the waves.

"Oh God, oh God!" Ralph cried out. Then there was a chorus of sound behind them. Coming up the other side of the mountain was the hunting party with shamanic with them. They held a boar on two sticks of wood and if they weren't holding the boar, they were dancing around like madmen with blood and clay on their faces. Louise put a hand to her mouth and Simon lay a hand on her shoulder.

"KILL THE PIG SLIT HER THROAT SPILL HER BLOOD!" They chanted. It scared some of the Littleums and they held onto Louise's skirts. She let them, standing completely still she was trying to process what was happening.

"We caught another pig!" Jack yelled at the top of his lungs. Turning back to the sunset, Ralph closed his eyes, the ship was gone. The group got closer and Jack ran up to Ralph.

"Whats up Ralph?"

"You let the bloody fire out." He said in almost a whisper.

"Well yes, we needed everyone and the twins came with us." Louise glared at the floor and couldn't bring herself to look up at Jack.

"You let the fire out." Ralph clenched his fists and seemed like he would punch Jack soon so Louise shooed the Littleums from holding her skirts. They just stayed by her side.

"Why does it matter? We can just light it again." Jack retorted in a smug manner.

"There was a ship. There was a bloody ship." There was silence now. Then Ralph leapt forward and punched Jack straight in the face. It took longer for Jack to respond. But he hit Ralph in the stomach and then they went at each other, it was like the Littleums fighting each other, pathetic. Louise was waiting for a warning sign. When Jack pulled out his knife, the bell was wrung. Springing into action, she jumped above Ralph and easily caught Jack off guard, taking his knife from his hand.

"Give it back!" He said, pushing Ralph out the way.

"Come and get it then!" Louise dangled the knife in front of his face. Before walking backwards. He ran at her and waiting until the last moment she stepped out the way, as he went for her legs she did a massive jump over him landing on her face in the dirt. But she was quickly up again. He walked toward her, ready to punch, but she stopped his fist and punched him in the nose with her free one before kicking him backwards in the stomach. The other boys were getting more interested and watched more intently. As Jack came toward her once more, she threw the knife over his head the clatter on the stone behind him. Kicking him in the balls, hard, he fell to the floor. Kicking him in the stomach twice, she crouched down next to him.

Standing up, Louise walked down through the forest and didn't even look back as she heading back to the camp.

When she was first back at the camp, Louise sat on one of the logs and buttoned up her shirt that had come undone again. She wanted to drink but knew she shouldn't. The Littleums were next back. Running down the hill and then playing on the beach like nothing had changed. Ralph and Simon and the twins were next. Sam and Eric sat away from the others, ashamed.

"That was... amazing. Did you learn that from, the academy." Ralph said almost too loudly. But the twins didn't seem to care. Louise nodded but put a finger to her lips, she didn't want everyone knowing what she was, especially not Jack.

"Simon, can I talk to you, in private..." Louise gestured to walk down the beach. Simon looked Ralph, then nodded at Louise. They got away from camp until Louise thought it was a good distance.

"I'm just, I'm just wondering about things. With you, and Roger..." Simon looked at her and then to the floor.

"We're friends okay just friends nothing is happening. I'm normal he's normal we just go out for walks together and-"

"Simon, it's okay it's okay. I get it, my brother, he was like you. He liked boys instead of girls. He only told me and my family, we couldn't trust anyone else you see. But for years before that, he was tormented and kept awake at night by what he felt until he told me. I was the first person he had ever told and he cried for a long time but once he opened up, he found it so much easier to be happy. My brother hadn't been happy for years, but now he could be. I loved him for who he was, he was still my brother no matter who he wanted to spend his life with. I just want you and Roger to know that I'm always here. I know you won't want to talk about it with him or any of the other boys, but I won't tell anyone and I don't care what they think of me." His eyes looked less scared now and he leant against a rock.

"What was your brother's name?" Simon asked slowly.

"Dewain." She choked out. Louise missed her brothers desperately, she missed her sister and her mother too of course. But they were alive, her father was dead and some of her brothers might be dead.

"He's gone to war with my other two brothers. All three of them are gone." As Louise said it, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at the sympathetic smile on Simon's face.

"I'll be your brother, and you my sister." He smiled shyly again and then hugged Louise. Simon was taller than her and the embrace felt like Dewain himself. Once they withdrew from each other, Louise dried her tears and they walked back to camp. The rest of the boys had returned now aside Piggy. Louise couldn't find him among the boys. Louise sat on a branch, next to Jack. Just to rub some salt into the wound, he glared at her with a bloody nose.

"Where did you say you were before all this?" Roger asked, a sly smile on his lips.

"I didn't." She said bluntly, by the boys weren't finished yet.

"Well, where did you go to school?" He added.

"Why do you want to know?" Louise questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Because you just took on and bested Jack Merridew. No one beats him, and you're a girl." Roger didn't seem the one to care about sexism.

"She did not beat me, I'll take her-"

"Want to take me on again, hey Jack? I was going easy on you, got tired of your bullshit but not enough to really hurt you that will be next time." Jack rolled his eyes but shut up.

"So where were you, which school." Roger persisted.

"I was at a... specialist academy, you could call it. If you're really that interested, I went to a military academy, just like yours but for girls, there, it's been said." Louise didn't see the almost shocked faces of the other boys, but she noticed Jack's face. He didn't look so angry anymore, he was fuming.

"Why aren't you a hunter then, your probably faster than the rest of us and pretty strong." She laughed at Jack's stretched compliments.

"Oh, so now I'm the bearer of the mighty Jack's compliments, I should feel blessed by the God's." She imitated a praying position and looked up to the sky.

"Shut up. You know what I mean."

"I mean yes, I've hunted before. Felt that adrenaline that runs through you and when you don't want to stop and you lose all care in the world, it's just about the hunt. But, the killing isn't as satisfactory as you'd think, then you understand what you've done and it's- it's not as nice." Louise looked into the fire and made no movement.

"Shouldn't some of us be with the fire?" Simon said.

"We'll go. This whole thing was our fault." The twins said in unison. They stood up.

"But you need Piggy's glasses, where is Piggy?" Jack asked. The boys shrugged and the twins sat down.

"Couldn't we take fire from the cooking fire and take it up?" Bill wondered aloud.

"Don't be stupid, you'd set the whole forest on fire." Jack retorted and Bill looked down.

"So what do we do now?" Maurice piped up.

"We wait I suppose."


	3. Ugly

Books » Lord of the Flies » **The only ones left alive**

Author: sansa-sandor-shipper

1\. Only two days 2. Brother, Sister 3. Ugly

Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Published: 12-01-15 - Updated: 12-13-15

id:11645569

 **Hey guys, thanks to anyone who is reading this fic. I'm super grateful as this is my first LOTF fanfic.**

 **Just a note that this chapter has emotional triggers with self-harm and self-hatred, I just wanted to give some caution so no one was surprised by the intensity of it.**

* * *

When Piggy finally returned there was still enough sunlight to light a fire, Louise stood up to make room for Piggy and the other boys glared at him.

"Can't I stay with the fire? I'm not scared of the dark or the mountain Only the Littleums have nightmares." Ralph looked from Piggy to her and was about to speak when Jack butted in.

"I'll go with her," Louise smirked but didn't reply. Jack aimed it at Ralph.

"By today's standard, I don't think she needs rescuing." The boys sniggered and Jack turned a shade of red. Louise felt a degree of sympathy for him but wouldn't want to damage her reputation or sniggered at him and reduce his so she stayed silent.

"I guess you go, Louise." Louise crouched in front of Piggy and said a few silent words of encouragement with a smile. It wasn't fake, the fat boy seemed nice. He handed Louise the glasses and leant his head on his hands. She thanked him and was walking to the jungle when she realized she couldn't bring the glasses back and tend to the fire.

"I'm going to need someone to run back with the glasses." You told the group, Jack as quick as lightning, stood up and walked into the jungle.

"See you tomorrow," Louise added as she chased after Jack. He was still a couple of meters in front of her when he stopped and looked around, the pig's blood and the clay still on his face, Jack looked embarrassed, distraught even.

"You were about to attack Ralph, I don't want anyone getting killed." Jack scoffed and shook his head at the ground.

"You seem pretty intent on getting me killed. Why couldn't you just leave me on the floor without kicking me more, my reputation is in ruins, a girl beat me up and yes I know I wouldn't admit to it in front of you. But it's true, how was I ever meant to serve my country if I can't even beat you?" He sounded distraught. Louise stopped and held his elbow, making him stand in front of her.

"Look, I did everything at the academy. Including gymnastics, as well as things like combat and fitness. I doubt people you have faced thought about jumping over people and not necessarily trying to hit their opponents in the face. I'm just quickly different sort of opponent. Don't worry, your still the toughest boy here, only Roger could take you on." Jack looked at her through his ginger hair and Louise pushed it back.

"I'm sorry. But I don't want anyone to die, I would have done the same for you and beat up Ralph had it been the other way around." Even as she said it, she knew he wasn't convinced.

"Can I ask you something." She asked in the silence. He nodded.

"Why are you so intent on catching a frickin pig?" Jack laughed then and so did she. They were nearly up to the mountain when they stopped laughing.

"I suppose, I want to have a purpose. I don't want to do all the things Ralph wants me to do, there boring and I want to do something where I can run and laugh and have fun. You can't do that building shelters." Then Louise understood, Jack was one of those boys who couldn't stand still, the ones that if they didn't take their medication they were different. He was one of those boys, Louise used to know one in her primary school years.

They reached the top of the mountain and saw the burnt out embers of the fire. Making Jack feel a certain amount of guilt deep in the pit of his stomach. Louise held the glasses in the gaze of the sun, and a small slither of grey smoke crept up to the sky and then a small flame, Jack added a few smaller sticks and then when it got a bigger, more sticks. She handed Jack the glasses and sat down next to the fire.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Louise told Jack as he wandered down the hill.

"I'll be back." He yelled she smiled and looked into the flames. She predicted Ralph was still pretty ticked off at Jack and wouldn't let it go easily. But Simon could handle him.

* * *

Roger looked back at Simon, he was standing in front of the jungle staring at it. Standing up Roger walked to him and stood next to him.

"Whats wrong?" He asked, and Simon turned to him.

"I prayed for the fire to go out. I'm sorry, it's my fault, I didn't mean it. I just don't want to leave you and I'll have to if we go home." There were tears in Simon's eyes and it took all of Rogewillpowerower not to take him in his arms. Roger didn't really care about the fire, he didn't care about going home either. He cared about Simon and didn't want him to cry.

"Come on," Roger said quietly as he walked into the jungle. No one noticed them as they walked away from the camp and walked through the under growth. Deciding that they were far enough away, Roger turned Simon toward him and put his hands on his face. He waited a few seconds before kissing Simon with an aggression he didn't mean to be so intense, but he couldn't help it. When Roger was upset he wanted to hurt someone, the desires to rip and cut and hit and hurt were overwhelming. But instead he was with Simon and he was calm.

"Roger, hold on, hold on." Simon pulled back a little and looked around, he wouldn't lie, it hurt Roger that Simon had pulled away but he didn't want to show it.

"We don't know who could be here, we should go deeper." Roger reluctantly followed Simon as he held his hand. He was trying to pull him back a little, but Simon kept on pulling him forward. Then he pulled him through a smaller rock opening and it revealed a pool of water, that was at the bottom of a small waterfall. Roger had no idea where the water was coming from but he didn't have time to think about it before Simon was pressing him against the stone and running his hands up and down his chest.

Roger began to run his hand down Simon's shirt covered stomach and loosen his trouser waistband. When Roger tried to unbutton Simon's shirt, he stopped him and Roger left it alone. Then he reached his hand down his trousers and palmed his hard dick. Simon moaned as he kissed Roger and it encouraged him to carry on, as he began to stroke cautiously up and down. Roger stopped for a second and looked up at Simon.

"Don't- don't stop." He begged, Roger, smirked and then took hold of his member, making Simon stop. Roger reversed the situation and pushed Simon against the rock. But Roger wanted to see all of him, so he pulled down Simon's trousers and then his tight boxer shorts. It wasn't really big but it wasn't really small, it seemed just in the middle. Simon seemed to notice his nakedness and tried to cover himself up, Roger stood up and began kissing him again before getting close to his ear and kissing his neck there.

Simon opened his mouth slightly and Roger went forward again, kissing him while he placed gentle touches on Simon's rising dick. Roger could feel his own cock straining in his trousers, but he tried to ignore it. Hearing Simon's groans made Roger feel good. He got more pleasure than he would have expected by just listening to Simon's moans and groans. Pumping his hand faster, Roger looked back to Simon who had his head rolled back and was breathing fast. He elicited a noise from the back of his throat then came onto Roger's hand and stomach. His chest rose and fell fast and Roger leaned forward, kissing his neck slowly.

Simon's hands had dropped from Roger's waist but latched back onto him and kept his eyes shut because nothing would hurt him with his eyes shut and he didn't want to leave this moment for the world. Then Simon went forward and hugged Roger. The smaller boy pulled the larger one toward him and just held on tight. Roger kissed Simon's hair and inhaled his scent. It intoxicated him and be didn't care that they hadn't washed in a couple days.

"Why are you so angry Roger?" Simon asked. Roger could list all the reasons why he was angry, but he didn't want to plague Simon with it so he shrugged.

"I just am." Simon didn't ask again, but he did pull away to pull up his boxers and his shorts. Looking up at Roger, Simon fumbled with his hands and blushed at the black-haired beauty staring down at him with no expression, his black hair was swept to the side and long, with high cheekbones, a perfectly sculpted nose, fairly big lips, haunting dark eyes and a defined jawline. Simon had mousey brown hair, a flat face, thin lips, with a slightly Greek nose and not a visible jawline so what did he have to offer.

Ducking underneath Roger's arms, Simon walked away from him and out of the safety of the stone walls. He began to walk uphill toward the mountain, Roger was confused.

"Simon!" He called out, but Simon didn't stop walking even when Roger was running after him. It had just been one kiss, one kiss that turned into something Simon was brought up to find ugly. But how could his connection with Roger be seen as ugly? It was beautiful, he was just too scared to admit it. Simon hated disappointing people but, disappointing his father would kill him. He needed to get away from Roger, keep away from him. Just one kiss, followed by a few more, but that wasn't the point.

He remembered a time, a few days after they'd arrived on the island-

 _Simon wanted to be on his own, he was scared and worried and wanted to go home. So he walked into the jungle to be away from everyone's sleeping souls. As he got into the undergrowth he thought someone was following him but every time he looked back there was no-one there._

 _When he got closer to the mountain he leant against a tree and sank onto the jungle floor, pulling his knees up to his chest Simon looked up at the stars and pondered. He hadn't prayed for a day now and he should make up for it. So getting onto his knees he recited the Lord's prayer with hands clasped then kept his eyes closed as he thanked God for his survival and asked him to not punish him for his sins. For Simon had had many thoughts lately about a certain someone that were sinful to another terrible degree and he didn't want to hold it in much longer. Opening his eyes again he saw the butt end of a spear poking out from behind a tree._

 _"Who-who's there?" Simon asked cautiously. Then Roger walked out from behind a tree and straight up to Simon, he was about to scream but Rogers' hand clamped over his mouth as he picked him up._

 _Simon was then carried over Rogers' shoulder, whimpering. Roger would almost certainly hurt Simon even if Simon often saw a good in him, he never truly showed any soul or emotion. Simon also knew if he made any noise to alert the others, he would be done for and might as well die right there. So he just whimpered and quivered his lip quietly. They had gone a little uphill before Roger who was surprisingly careful lay Simon down on the grass. There were no trees covering them and the moon shone on them. Roger was still leaning over Simon and he didn't move._

 _It wasn't like Simon was going to stop him he had been dreaming of a moment like this for weeks, but it was so wrong that's everything in the bible said. That's everything his father taught him._

 _Roger slowly got closer and closer to Simon laying on the grass, Simon could feel a strain in his boxers but put a hand over it as Roger's hands were next to his head and his chest and face were getting closer and closer. Before they were nose to nose and Roger stopped, seeming to hesitate before pressing his full lips to Simon's thin ones. Simon was surprised when he felt Roger straddle him and then put his hands in Simon's hair. But it felt nice, it felt like he was wanted and all Simon wanted. Someone to hold and someone to hold him, a one to have a one to have him, a person to love and be loved, could he not have that?_

 _Roger pulled away and Simon was surprised as he went up with Roger as far as he could go to lean back on his elbows. Had he done something wrong, was he meant to do something, maybe he was meant to touch Roger? Simon had no idea. But Simon didn't have time to think because Roger was soon on Simon again, pressing his lips to Simon's face and neck._

 _"Your cute when you're worried." He rasped into Simon's ear, making a shiver run down his spine. When Roger came near Simon's lips he tried to reach out and kiss his face back but always just missed and it made Roger laugh._

 _"Even cuter when you're annoyed," Roger said as he sat up and examined Simon's perplexed face. Simon let set smile slip and looking down at Simon's hands, Roger linked his hand with Simon's and pressed them to the ground next to Simon's head. Keeping him there, Roger leant down slowly to Simon and teased him. Pecking him lightly on the sides of his lips and running his tongue along Simon's bottom lip. Simon moaned in pleasure or annoyance, Roger couldn't tell but he liked both._

 _"We shouldn't be doing this." Simon suddenly whispered. Roger halted and sat up, staring down at Simon. He looked scared, vulnerable and worried. Simon wasn't sure what to do when Roger sat next to him, so he just wrapped his arms around Roger's stomach and rested his head on his shoulder._

"Simon stop!" Roger yelled at the top of his lungs, it was only then that Simon turned with tears in his eyes. He hugged himself as Roger approached him.

"What's wrong Simon?" He didn't want to answer but he had too.

"I'm, I'm not good enough." Roger didn't seem to understand Simon's pain as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Not good enough for what." Roger took hold of Simon's shoulders and shook him, but Simon was silent and looked at the floor. After a few minutes of Roger practically yelling at him and shaking him, Simon cracked.

"For you!" Simon finally yelled before the tears overtook him.

"Not good enough for me? What do you mean?" Roger still didn't understand, he never would l get it.

"I'm ashamed of myself, of how I look. Ever wonder why I'm so quiet? I used to be outgoing and open, but people used to bully me. Call me a twig, and threaten how they would snap me, how I was ugly and never would find anyone to love me. Then I moved schools, and Jack started the same thing I had tried to escape. I stopped eating okay, I stopped eating for months and nobody even noticed. Nobody cares. I still don't eat and I have nothing to offer, so why do you follow me out here? Why do you want me? I'm worthless, nothing, I don't matter and everyone knows it. I could be dead tomorrow and people wouldn't notice. I self-harm and cut and it can help the pain go away, but it never solves it. Sometimes I even hope I go to deep and split a vein so this can all go and I can end up wherever I'm meant to. Your beautiful and confident and even if people are intimidated by you, they notice you and don't make fun of you. You have everything I've ever wanted, and I can't have it because I'm not worthy of it so why don't you just go!" Simon turned around again and ran up the hill.

Roger just stood there. With silent tears rushing down his face, the thought of Simon hurting himself because of other people made his blood boil. But he couldn't decide which hurt more, that Simon expected so little of him or that he had stood by when boys had bullied Simon back at school. Why was he such a coward? Roger didn't wait to answer and just ran after Simon.

* * *

"I'm back!" Jack called as he came back to camp with Piggy's specs. Handing them to Ralph he leant the but side of his spear stood outside of the circle of boys.

"Look, I'm sorry about the fire alright, but what's the point of sitting on our arses doing nothing? There is no point so why are you still here. Where's Roger? I need someone to help me bring the pig down." The others shrugged their shoulders.

"He went someone in the jungle, take your other hunters," Ralph said looking at the ground as he gave Piggyback his glasses. Jack groaned and stood up, Bill, Robert and Maurice ran after Jack and they disappeared into the undergrowth. Ralph was still pissed with Jack, but he had a point, they needed to carry on the way they had before. They couldn't just give up at the loss of one ship that may not have even seen them even with a fire.

"I'm going for a swim, all of you can look sorry for yourselves if you want," Ralph announced as he stripped down to his boxers and ran out to the water, soon joined by the rest of the bigums aside from Piggy and some of the Littleums.

Jack approached the fire mountain and pushed back his fiery hair, he couldn't pretend like he didn't like Louise, she was almost a female copy of him but she was a better person. Why wouldn't Jack like her? He'd had and his dreams last night were full of images of her. Just of Louise smiling and running about of the beach with Jack, nothing else, just them being normal. More like children than young adults.

She was still sitting there, just looking at the horizon. Jack wished the other boys weren't with him, but they could take the pig down.

"Hey you three get the pig and take it down, it's a smaller one than last time. So get two at the back, one at the front." They obeyed him and soon were sniggering their way down the hill, leaving Jack to sit next to Louise. She ignored him, but when Jack had been staring at her for a few minutes she turned her head and he raised an eyebrow. Louise sniggered but didn't say anything.

"Did you have any family back home?" Louise suddenly asked Jack, that sour subject was not something he liked talking about if he was honest.

"Can we talk about something else?" Turning her eyes back to the fire, Louise stayed quiet.

"Want to go for a walk?" Jack asked, and she glared at him.

"We can't leave the fire, that's the reason I nearly killed you in the first place, don't make me do it again. You can leave if you want to but I'm not leaving this fire."

Then Jack stood up and left, leaving Louise alone in the dark with just the fire.

The next day, Louise was back on the beach and she sat in the entrance of Ralph, Piggy and Simon's shelter. Then she stood up and walked onto the beach as the others slept, she was angry, angry at Jack Merridew the one person she couldn't stop thinking about. She hated herself for it, but there it was.

Why didn't she just leave for a day and see what they would do, why didn't she just go off into some trees and stay there for a night of a day? Louise was all ready to do it, when she turned and someone was standing behind Louise was intent on going into the trees and she walked past Jack toward the jungle. He seemed to chase after her and then pulled back her arm.

"What are you doing?" He questioned. She wrenched her arm from his grip and glared in the moonlight at him.

"I'm going into the jungle, isn't it obvious." She tried to walk forward, but he stood in front of her.

"No your not, you'll die." If Louise wasn't to pissed off with him, she might see it as him caring. But she wasn't in the mood.

"Oh, of course, you would care. I don't like you. Your selfish and crazy and weird and intimidating and annoying and your hunters are little shits and-" He stopped her by pressing his lips to hers and pushing her back into a tree. He lifted up her legs so she was straddling him and Louise held him behind his neck, kissing him fast and hurriedly. She didn't know why she submitted to his rough touch and how the bark rubbed against her back, but it made her feel that feeling in her stomach that she loved. Suddenly she pushed him back.

"You can't do that again. I don't want to talk to you anymore." Turning away from him, she walked slowly away. Then Jack walked away as well.

It had been four days since Louise and Jack had talked and four days since the last taste of boar.

"I'm going for a walk," Louise said out loud as she walked away from the platform. Walking from the beach, into the rays of the sun. Her skin had already turned an olive colour and her hair was always limp and greasy, she had learned not to care. The hot sand burned her feet but she wanted to get away from everyone and everything, she wanted to forget about Jack Merridew. How could she, his perfect hair and freckles and face and body and everything? Why did he have to be so aesthetically perfect?

* * *

Simon wasn't talking to Roger, and Roger didn't get why he wouldn't at least be civil. It had put Roger in a permanently foul mood and everyone noticed, plus the fact that they hadn't had anything to eat for about four days and fruit didn't count, but Roger was more concerned with Simon. He had caught Simon in the jungle with Jack's knife the other day. Making cuts on his wrist, crying while he did it, but as soon as Roger intervened, Simon stood bolt upright and ran away.

Roger knew that Simon wouldn't last forever but he was hurting himself and refusing to eat, passing it off as stomach aches to the rest of the camp but Roger knew. He knew very well what was wrong with him, but Simon wouldn't talk to him about it.

If he was honest he knew he was shit, he knew that he enjoyed pain and screams and intimidating people. He knew he was unkind, selfish and all the time he was bored. But it wasn't all gloom for Roger, well it hadn't been, when Simon joined the school him and about six other boys would go to the church regularly and Roger would follow him there. Hide behind the benches at the back of the church, just watching him from afar and sometimes Roger would pray by himself, silently. But know he didn't know what the light at the end of the tunnel was, he didn't have hope anymore and he just wanted to die even more than usual because Simon wouldn't say anything.

The whole camp hadn't heard Simon's voice since the outburst at Roger, only his whimpers and crying. The sun was beating down on Roger's skin and he saw Simon sitting on a rock, the sun on his darker skin. His dark hair blew in the wind and made his shirt cling to him, Roger knew heaven was waiting for him, and it just couldn't wait to take him. But also that Roger would do anything to keep him. He was the closest to heaven Roger would ever be and he didn't want to let go of him now while he was so close.

Walking toward Simon, Roger sat silently next to him and leant his arms on his knees. Looking out to sea, the waves rippled in and out of the little alcoves and rocks around the front of the island, it was calm and even the Littleums were quiet today only the sea made a sound and Roger looked behind him for any suspecting bigums but they were all out of earshot. Reaching down he lay a hand on Simon's and Simon quickly pulled him away.

"Simon, please." Roger pleaded. His eyes boring into the side of Simon's head but it didn't turn and Roger just carried on staring at him.

"I'm so tired of being here."

"Anything that's beautiful people want to break, you are beautiful and I'm afraid. I don't want you to die okay, I'm afraid one day you'll go too far and it'll be too late for you to come back. Please just talk to me." But Simon still said nothing.

"Well fuck you." Roger jumped off the rock and ran away into the jungle, he would never grovel again, he had never been so humiliated in his life. Simon didn't even say a word and Roger practically poured his heart out to him, Roger needed to hurt something he wanted to kill. To hunt, he wanted blood. With hot tears of betrayal in his eyes, Roger ran off to hunt.

* * *

Louise sat against a rock in the sun, she hadn't had a drink in a couple of hours and it was finally getting to her, sitting against the rock she felt how her hips bones were digging into her legs and how her legs and arms were ever so slightly thinner with the bone more defined. Her head hurt and her stomach ached. Then she felt it in her throat, gagged and then went forward onto her knees, being sick in front of her, it rolled down the rocks. A mix of foul smelling brown and orange remnants. Sitting back on the rock she groaned and closed her eyes.

Suddenly she was awoken by the sound of the conch being blown, it was nearly night when she awoke. Sitting upright she saw that flies had begun to flutter on and around her sick, she stepped over it and walked back to the island to the camp where most of the boys already were.

Ralph was in heavy conversation with one of the other boys and Jack was criticizing Piggy per usual. As she stood up outside the circle next to Jack, they all looked at her for a second then looked away, they had been talking about her and she knew it.

"Anyway, what's all this talk about a beast," Ralph asked.

"It's what that Littleum said about something in the trees. That dream he had, who was it?" The bigums looked at the crowd of Littleums and in hushed silence, a young boy stepped forward, Percival Wemys Madison, the little boy she had sung to. Ralph handed him the conch. Jack suddenly stepped toward the young boy and knelt down holding his shoulders.

"What was your dream!" He practically yelled in his face.

"I, I, I had a nightmare. There were vines and claws on me and I felt things hurting me and trying to take me away, then I woke up. I was standing in front of the jungle and then, I was awake then, then I saw a dark shape jumping through the trees and then it ran across the sand toward me and I tried to scream but I fell backwards and then I woke up again on the floor in front of the jungle. I turned around and I saw, I saw..." He trailed off and the rest of the group had their hearts in their mouths as they listened open-eyed. The silence was broken by Jack.

"What did you see!" He yelled at the scared little boy. Percival loosened in Jack's grip and looked to Ralph.

"Tell him," Percival whispered his response to Jack, whose face went deadly serious, or scared.

"So, what does he say?" Ralph asked Percival gripped the conch, his knuckles turning white. Jack cleared his throat, snatched the conch and said casually.

"He says, he saw it come out of the sea." The silence was audible, screaming for someone to say something. Louise ripped the conch from Jack's grip and looked at the boys.

"My father was in the navy, he said that not all the creatures in the sea had been discovered yet and that there could be anything in the depths of the sea. I don't believe in the beast of course, just stupid childish talk, but maybe it's not a beast. Maybe it's something else that we don't know about because we weren't told about it in school. How will we ever know unless we see it, or until it's too late and we can't tell anyone maybe-"

"Or maybe there is a beast." Simon interrupted Louise and the boys stared at him.

"Simon? You believe in this?" Ralph asked, sounding completely surprised. Then the heavens broke onto the group, the boys all looked at Simon and Louise furrowed her brow.

"Sit down!"

"Shut up!"

"Get the conch!"

"Shut up!"

Ralph rose up over everyone, his voice heard.

"Everyone shut up!" Ralph yelled. "Simon has the conch let him speak!" There were a few sniggered but silence overtook the camp as Simon sat up and Jack went back to standing next to Louise.

"What I'm trying to say is- perhaps it's just us, perhaps the beast is in us and-"

"Batty!" One of the boys yelled. It was becoming increasingly harder for Simon to get the words out with the onslaught of voices at him, Roger stood up.

"Shut up!" He roared, the whole group shut up and looked pretty scared, Simon silently thanked Roger with a look and Roger nodded before looking down as he looked at the group again.

"I'm just saying maybe we are sort of alone with ourselves too much that we just think about things too much. Then human nature and the essential illness in us all comes out..." He trailed off because of all the laughing and gave the conch back to Ralph. The laughter sent Simon shrinking back into his seat and hugging his legs as he leant over his knees and closed his eyes, tears picking them.

"Maybe he means some sort of ghost." Someone suggested. Piggy snatched the conch from Ralph and spoke indignantly.

"I'll never believe in ghosts- not ever!" Jack seemed even more angry than usual.

"No one asked you, you slug!"

"-I got the conch, Ralph tells him."

"Ooh, Ralph tell him, at the sight of a confrontation, just get your boyfriend to protect you?" Jack imitated Piggy and the hunters laughed.

"Jack, you're breaking the rules! We have to obey the rules to have proper assemblies, there too much talk of ghosts, we should've done this in the daylight ." The boys rolled their eyes and it annoyed Louise.

"Who believes in ghosts." Ralph peered looked into the slight fire lit darkness, the rain was slowly dying out the embers, and they just had to hope the twins could deal with the one on the mountain. He saw a fair few hands risen.

"-I see." He muttered, there was a silence again. Jack held out his hands, and Ralph gave him the conch.

"Who agrees I'm a hunter?" Jack asked the whole camp nodded. No one doubted that.

"Well I've been around the whole island by myself and I haven't seen any beast, if there were a beast would have seen it. Be frightened if you want, but there's no beast in the jungle or the sea, and there are no ghosts. Neither of them exists." The assembly applauded, all except, Piggy, Simon, Ralph, Louise and Roger. Piggy held out his hands and regrettably, Jack has Piggy the conch.

"I don't agree with all Jack said, but 'course there isn't a beast, how could there be? What would a beast eat?"

"Pig."

"We eat pig!"

"Piggy, Piggy!"

"I got the conch!" Piggy announced but they all laughed.

"It's all in your imagination, there ain't no beast and you ought to all shut up because there ain't anything to be afraid of. You talking about ghosts is nonsense, we know what goes on and if there's something wrong, we deal with it." He rubbed his cheek.

"If you get a pain in your stomach, a little one or a big one-"

"Yours is a big one."

"When your done playing around perhaps we can go on with the meeting, and the Littleums are only falling off the platform so they might as well sit and listen, there is nothing to be afraid of, life is scientific. I know there's no beast with claws that can swim and swing in the trees, but that doesn't mean there ain't no fear. You can get scared of people."

A laughter rise in the group and Piggy's protests were drowned by the sounds of mocking and merriment. Then the screams.

They all stopped making noises as two sets of screams came tearing through the jungle and the twins fell before the assembly, breathing fast.

"What is it?" Louise asked them, helping them up.

"A beast, that thing the Littleums were talking about-"

"it was chasing us-"

"It clawed us and-"

"Tried to catch us-"

"We only just got away." The Littleum, Percival, sat down in the grass and began to cry, as did some of the other Littleums.

"But what was chasing you?" Ralph persisted.

"A monster." The twins said in unison as if the two shared a mind and had the same thoughts.

"We're staying here. There's no point going out till daylight, we can't see anything and if we take a torch we'll just attract the beast." Ralph declared and even Jack agreed. He wanted to have the advantage in the situation and running around in the dark wouldn't help.

"Let's have people on watch and just go to sleep." The boys agreed and the Littleums all huddled together in one shelter, Maurice, Bill and Robert to another. Piggy, Ralph, Sam and Eric then Simon and Louise to another and Jack and Roger. But most of the bigums just stayed up, except Maurice, Bill, Robert, Piggy, Samaneric, Ralph and Jack. Louise, Roger and Simon sat next to each other in silence.

Simon knew he had done wrong to Roger, and he wanted to trust him more. Leaning his head on Roger's shoulder, Simon lay a hand on the hand that gripped his spear. Roger seemed apprehensive with Louise there and didn't react to any of it.

Simon got close to Roger's ear. "She knows." He whispered and it was then that Roger felt the betrayal again, he stood up, teary eyed and walked off. Simon knew there was no point in running after him and he scooted closer to Louise and cried silently.

"Come here." She whispered and Simon leant his head on Louise as she stroked his hair. As the hours went on, Simon slipped onto Louise's knee and fell into a deep slumber, she carried on sterling's hair and looking around for Roger. When he finally turned up, he sat opposite Louise, she could barely see his face but it looked ashamed and hurt.

"He didn't tell me you idiot, I guessed. I asked him and he wanted to tell someone." She hissed, looking at the dark haired boy with a glare. His hair covered his eyes but Louise saw the tears.

"Come here." She said, lifting Simon's head she swapped places with a Roger, and let him shuffle down to hug Simon. Letting his head rest on his chest, Roger pulled him close and didn't let go. It was then that Simon woke and put an arm around Roger.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too. But Louise guessed and-" he stopped when saw Roger's face.

"It's my fault, I'm sorry Simon. I should be glad to hear your voice, I've missed you." Clutching Simon closer to his chest Roger let a tear roll down his cheek at his foolishness.

Louise climbed over the burnt out fire and sat next to the couple as the rain fell. She was just there to overlook them, if someone woke up or walked over, or if there was a beast. She didn't believe in it, but she didn't know and then an unknown beast haunted her thoughts and dreams.


	4. Just a phase

Kicking Roger's leg, hard, Louise signalled someone was coming and Roger pushed Simon away from him. The smaller boy rolled along the platform and leant his head on a log. As the passerby looked at them, it was Jack.

"They both fell asleep." She said, Jack sat next to her on the log and smirked at the two boys.

"You sure they weren't hugging. Cause that would be-"

"No." Was all she said

"Yeah I mean, it's not legal," Jack added, he looked off at the shoreline and didn't seemed phased by the subject. Louise wanted nothing more than to just change it.

"I wish I could sleep." Louise said aloud.

"Why don't you?"

"I find it hard to get to sleep sometimes." She shrugged and Jack stayed silent for a minute.

"Come here." He said gesturing for her to come closer. She obeyed and he pulled her onto his bare chest, her head was snuggled up against him and Louise didn't want to move.

She buried her head on his chest, crying silently. Jack put both of his hands around her, he seemed to understand a form of sympathy and Louise appreciated it, she hadn't been sleeping for last few days because she needed someone to hold her. Not getting that here or at home had hit hard.

She had had a boyfriend before all this bullshit, well, if you could call their relationship that. His name was Mr Henry Richmond and he had been her PE teacher. The two had had a prolonged affair for about four years, sometimes they met up outside school. He would take her away for the weekend and it would be the most fun she ever had, she lost her virginity to him and it meant a lot. But a few months after she turned eighteen, the war broke out and he told her he was being shipped out in a week.

It was also the week he told her that he had a wife, Louise had had plans to marry him once she left school and the news of his current matrimony made her hate everyone and everything. He was the only one that could have consoled her and he was in France or Germany or somewhere. The two had been exchanging letters since he was shipped out and it wasn't until they crashed on the island that it stopped. She hadn't bothered to look for her case with all the letters in it because there was no use in looking for something that she wouldn't find.

When Louise woke up, she was still leaning on Jacks chest, he was awake with dark circles under his eyes.

"You should get some sleep. There's still probably a few hours till daylight comes and the other boys are up." Jack rubbed his eyes as Lousie sat up and yawned. Jack leaned his head on her shoulder and Lousie watched the fire.

As soon as Jack fell asleep, Simon and Roger went into the jungle and to their special place near the water fall. Roger began kissing Simon tenderly and wrapped his arms a round him, the smaller boy happily let him. When Roger pulled away and leant his forehead onto Simon's they breathed heavily for a minute before Simon went up to Roger's neck and began sucking his skin.

It surprised Roger and felt ten times better for it. When it ceased, Simon got up close to Roger's ear and whispered.

"I love you." Simon went back to hugging Roger but he was quickly pushed away by a confused and scared Roger. Simon's eyes filled with tears.

"W-what did I do w-wrong?" He stuttered. But Roger couldn't reply, he could only run away for good, leaving Simon behind him to cry.

If you had asked him right then and there, why? He probably would have punched you in the face or told you to "fuck off" because he was just as scared as Simon. He was scared of what Simon had just said. People didn't tell Roger they loved him, people told Roger they hated him, it didn't work another way round.

Why did Simon have to be so angelic when Roger just wanted to cut and slash and beat and beat and beat and beat. Looking down at his bloody fist, he didn't even realise that he had just been punching a tree.

* * *

"Louise, why are we here." Jack moaned as he trekked behind Louise in the undergrowth of the forest the same afternoon.

"We both know that there isn't a beast right? Well I was sure I heard voices. Human, people voices, they weren't animals. They were real people and I know I heard more than two." Louise carried on walking, pushing away the branches so they would snap back into Jack's face.

"Oi. Stop it!" Jack whined.

"Oi. Stop it, calm down." She mimicked with theatrical hand gestures. Jack began muttering insults at her and Louise smiled before stopping abruptly, Jack crashed into her and began swearing.

"Shut up." Louise hissed back at him. She pointed through the bush into a clearing ahead of them, she could see about five people.

Jack was breathing on her neck and leaning his chin on her shoulder, Louise could feel his breath on her neck and closed her eyes momentarily. He got closer her, pressing his chest onto her back, she could feel his groin near her leg and bit the inside of her cheek. Jack's hands travelled up her waist to her chest and he began kissing her neck and when Louise opened her eyes she wasn't in the jungle.

 _Looking around her, she was back in Henry Richmond's room back at the academy, he walked through the kitchen door and smiled at her._

 _Louise walked straight up to him and began kissing him, wrapping her arms around his neck and feeling his hands all over her. Henry unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off while Louise unbuttoned the front of her dress and let it fall to her waist. Clashing back into one another, Louise sunk her fingers into his muscled back, running her fingers over his chest and the definition on his stomach._

 _He tugged at her bra and she quickly had it off before he had he trousers on the floor. Henry lifted her up so her legs were either side his waist, and carried her over to the bed. Slowly placing her down on the bed she giggled and he smiled._

 _Placing his hands on her hips, he ran them down to her underwear and pressed her sweet spot through the fabric. Causing Louise to bite her bottom lip and close her eyes. Henry pushed her legs apart and pulled aside her pants, when she felt his tongue on her nub it elicited a noise she hadn't heard in a while. Half way between a moan and a cry. She arched her back and was trying to sit up put he pushed her down and she wriggled on the bed._

 _Opening her eyes she looked down and saw a different face, it was Jack mother fucking Merridew._ She yelled, he yelled then she was brought back to the present with Jack kissing her neck and she looked at him weirdly before stepping away.

'Wait what's happening? Why are we here?' She thought. Then she remembered about the other people. Pulling down some of the leaves she saw the people again.

"What if they capture us or something?"

"I have this." He nodded to the feeble wooden spear he was carrying and Louise rolled her eyes.

"We can't look like we were creeping up on them, we have to just stumble upon their camp so, acting faces on. We walk past it talking loudly and then just walk into their camp and act surprised, okay."

"Fine." Jack growled. The two walked out from the undergrowth and began talking loudly about how they wanted to go home and about pigs and hunts and the fire and the mountain and the Lousie walked closer to the camp cautiously. Before stumbling over something and falling headfirst into the ground.

"Ow." She said into the ground. Someone pulled her up and she rubbed her nose, looking up it was an older brown haired boy.

"Oh for God sake Lousie. What are you doing... woah there's more people." She heard Jack behind her put up a pretty convincing surprised act. But he wouldnt be getting any awards any time soon.

"So, did you crash here too?" The brown haired boy asked.

"Yeah." Jack answered as she stood by his side. Louise had only just realised he had the face paint on.

"Theres six of us older ones here. Me, I'm Stephen, that's Brian, Neil, Harry, Will and- well where's Jay?- and Jay but we don't know where he is. Probably fucking a tree of something." Louise sniggered. "Plus about ten little ones."

"Theres a lot of us back on the beach." She told them as they walked over.

"Maybe we should join together. We could always use some more hands and put camp is bigger than yours and we have the signal fire and hunters and all that." Jack added.

"Maybe. Ah, here's Jay." He gestured to a light brown haired boy walking over who seemed to have no cares in the world.

"Who's this then?" I could hear his East London accent straight away, a lot different to the more conservative voices I had been around. Aside from Piggy.

"They crashed here too, they're camped on the beach." One of the other boys told him.

"Why is there a girl here? That plane was full of military men and boys. So why we're you there?" I could tell he was patronising me, but I was used to the other sex not understanding that women could do their jobs just fine.

"And you are?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Jay Fisher." He stuck a hand out and I shook with with a strong grip, he seemed surprised and winced slightly.

"Louise." I returned.

"So why you here then?" His English was frustratingly bad, like Piggy's.

"Why do you need to know?" He glared me.

"Fine, I'm from a military school, one of the only girls ones in the country but it existed. I was on a private task for the British in America, so I can't be telling you any of that." They other boys looked stunned, and looking round. So did Jack.

"You never told me you were on a secret mission for the British!" Jack announced, I shrugged and looked at his shocked face.

"I never needed too, and you never asked." I whispered to him as our new found companions discussed things between themselves.

"Maybe we should go, I don't like the way they're looking at us." I whispered close to Jack's ear.

"They know where we are now. It doesn't matter if we leave, we have to wait to see if they are going to come back to us." He whispered back, I stood a little closer to Jack and a little behind him. I knew there was no point hiding because I didn't need to, but we were completely outnumbered if they decided to do anything. I knew Jack could protect himself and me and I could protect myself but I'd never really faced anyone outside of school and it was completely different.

"Okay. We've decided to come with you." And that was that, with me and Jack at the front. We travelled through the jungle and slowly down onto the beach, I just hoped no one was doing anything stupid. As we heard camp, most of the Bigums were standing up in a protective line in front of the camp and the Littleums.

Roger and Maurice stood in the middle and glared at the oncoming crowd with their faces painted. Jack walked in front of me, in an attempt to address the two groups.

"We've all crashed here and we need all the help we can get. The beach is the best place for camp and with double the power we can get everything done quicker." The two groups nodded.

"Who's to be the leader." One of the boys from the new group yelled. I looked from my group to the other and Ralph stepped forward.

"Me." He declared. "I was voted." The brown haired boy from the new group chuckled.

"That may be so, but we haven't even met. By all accounts I'd want one of these two chief because I've met them." Jack smiled triumphantly at the floor.

"I can see you grinning like a Cheshire cat, Jack." Ralph retorted.

"Why don't we go about normal things for a day or two before making a decision?" I suggested, the light brown haired boy named Jay walked toward me and squared up to me. He was taller than me.

"And who asked you? Your just a girl, your not permitted to make decisions in a war. Bet your father was just rich to get you into that school. Where's daddy now?"

"Dead." I finished it for him and stalked off. I wasn't going to get violent. But I wouldn't let any of them see me cry.


End file.
